Beach Chillin’ in Noosa

Monday, January 5, 2015

Today we woke up to the sound of rain. Pouring rain. Which was fine, because this was a travel day for us – so rain all you want on travel day. We chilled out at the hostel in the morning and then headed into town to catch our Greyhound. After about a six hour journey with one bus transfer and never knowing what time it is because the time changes even though your latitude does not, we arrived in Noosa. We were picked up by our hostel, Noosa Flashpackers, and we checked into our PRIVATE room. Praise the lord. They fucked up our reservation (shocker) because 98% of all hostel workers are innately fucking retarded, and gave us a double instead of two singles, but luckily for them Stina and I are no strangers to cuddle time. As long as I have no crazy cunts in my room, I’m a happy camper. By the time we settled in it was around 6pm and we were informed of “Free wine and cheese night!” at the hostel. “Free” anything would have been enough, but follow that up with “wine and cheese” and there ain’t no mountain high enough to keep these gals away. We headed down and staked out a table. They put two bottles of wine and our own plate of cheese and crackers at our table. Big mistake.

We basically handled that shit between just the two of us. People came over here and there to grab a piece of cheese, but I think we gave off the “don’t fuck with our table or our cheese” vibe and so most stayed away. We must have gotten pretty good at table protection on NYE. They looked afraid. Good instincts people. Don’t mess with a former sorority girl when it comes to cheese. We be cray.

A bit later we were ready for dinner. I found a very highly recommended Indian restaurant not too far into town on tripadvisor, so we headed out. Now, tripadvisor isn’t usually wrong. In fact, it has steered us to some pretty damn good Indian food thus far on our trip. But when it is, it’s DEAD wrong. And this time, it was. Worst service of the trip. Worst than then homeless pizza pot-heads in Able Tasman, NZ, worse than Christmas dinner in Queenstown. When your service is worse than the no fucks given Kiwis, you need to re-evaluate. Suffice it to say I wrote a horrible tripadvisor review while I was literally sitting at their table, where I basically berated the entire online travel community for their stupidity and general bad taste when they rated this restaurant so highly. And the owners were Indian!! Someone needs to plan a trip back to the motherland, because that tikka masala tasted like ass. Big disappointment. So we made it an early night. Again. We love early nights.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Beach Day!!! It was a bit touch and go this morning, since when I woke up at about 7am it was pouring rain. But remember, we are basically in Florida, so that is just summer here. We got our free breakfast, which was very exciting despite the fact that it was just toast and cereal, because no one ever gives you free breakfast here. Then we made some sammies and headed off to main beach. Today was our first good look at Noosa, as it was dark when we went to dinner last night. It’s basically Byron Bay’s gentrified older brother. Lots of Aussie families on holiday with their kids, tons of surfing and boogie boarding (which I think we’ll have to hit up before we leave for old times sake – who doesn’t love a good boogie?).

The main town area is basically one street with lots of “upmarket” shops, as they say here. And we are upmarket girls, so we fit right in. Basically, this is where the Golden Girls go to die in Australia. We settled in for a nice long beach day. We were interrupted by a few drizzles here and there, which were a welcomed distraction from the blistering hot and ozone-free sun, and only one downpour that lasted about 8 minutes. We waited it out under a tree and went right back to the beach once it died down, just following everyone else’s lead. We spent about 5 or so hours on the beach today, which was glorious. Read a book, got really tan. Life is good. As we sat on the beach, we lamented about how the hell we are ever going to go back to work after this trip. Can you guys just pay me to travel and entertain you via blog? Maybe I’ll start a kickstarter campaign called “fund my life, pretty please”. We headed back to the hostel around 5, with a quick stop at the bottle shop to provision for Fraser Island, and then ALL YOU CAN EAT PIZZA NIGHT. You should all know by now that Stina and I never turn down an all you can eat pizza night. We should. But we don’t.

It was supposed to be dominos, which is my absolute favorite, but it was pizza hut. Vom. Very unsatisfying and I’m hoping I have finally learned my lesson. We then showered, did laundry, and packed up for our Fraser Island tour.

We leave in the morning for a 3 day, 2 night Fraser Island CAMPING tour, to be exact. If they make us put up our own tents, we are fucked. I am tent-challenged. We have been informed there are no showers, and one bathroom a ten minute walk from the campsite. So naturally we purchased lots of booze for this little BYOB camping trip. There is no way I’m camping without being drunk off my ass. No fucking way. There won’t be any internet, which means no blog posts for a few days (I know, you will all die without me…especially during the work week. I feel your pain. Oh, wait, no I don’t). But if I’m camping I’m bound to do something absurdly stupid, so I should have a pretty good post for you upon our return.