So Auckland has dillas and beer…thats about it

I arrive at the airport about half an hour before Stina, as my anxiety will now allow me to wait. I peruse the lovely remodeled Tom Bradley terminal (there is a damn champs & caviar bar….hold the caviar, but wow). And then I realize I forgot my kindle. Panic attack ensues. I call my brother, he finds it in the daypack I was planning to take before I changed my mind and switched to another one. Those little fuckers are just so small…a blessing and a curse. Stina arrives and calms me down. We decide Brett will mail it to me in Queenstown and I’ll get it upon arrival Christmas even – so now even this little jew gets a Christmas present! See, this is a good thing (glass half full soooooo does not suit me). I am still slightly depressed, so naturally I rationalize that I deserve panda express for all my troubles. I mean, poor me, forgetting my kindle for my two month vacation. Someone should start a charity in my name, really. Stina gets us two very large plastic cups full of wine. If you ever have a sad Rory on your hands, panda and wine will fix her right up. Lets be honest here, any form of booze and food should do the trick.

We arrived yesterday after a lovely 13 direct flight to Auckland via Air New Zealand. Apparently it was rated the #1 airline of 2014. And it was pretty fabulous, especially compared to some of the other shit airlines I have flown in my day. Also a United partner, go points! I will cover the highlights:

1. In flight entertainment. Holy shit this was amazing. There are so many movies you can create a “playlist” as you go through them so you have a short list from which to pick. I did not figure this out as I was not kidding about being technologically challenged. But Stina informed me of this while we were drinking beers in Auckland, and I’m impressed.
2. The flight attendants were half male. Sounds like a random fact, but male flight attendants are just less bitchy. However, when I declined dinner (after the panda express incident) the very nice Kiwi flight attendant informed me that the tray minus the hot meal involved cheese and crackers….so I gratefully accepted. Who turns downs cheese?
3. They don’t cut you off after 3 glasses of wine. Very generous with the wine in fact. And good wine! Good NZ wine! They just kept it a flowin’.
4. Real blankets. Not that paper thin itchy excuse for a blanket that other airlines pawn off on you. This shit was the real deal. Usually I need about 4 airline blankets to survive the arctic weather of an airplane, but I was good with my one.

So we arrive in Auckland at 8am. Stina gets randomly selected to go through the customs interrogation line. I think their customs officials need some profiling classes, as cute little Stina does not exactly scream to me “sneaking bio-hazard materials into a foreign country”. But alas we make it to the airport bus counter, where the old man at the counter proceeds to give us a brief tour of the entire city in map form before giving us our tickets, even though all I asked him was which line we need to take. It is apparently to me I am going to have to take my bitchy resting fact off autopilot, as these people are just so damn nice.

We arrive at our hostel around 9am. We took one look around the place and decided we would henceforth refer to ourselves as the Bougie Backpackers. Definitely an interesting crowd to say the least. Our room is not ready. So we do what any normal Southbay girl would do without a place to shower on Saturday morning would do, we inquire about brunch…preferably bottomless. We quickly realize brunch is not their thing here (a shame, really). Perhaps I could start a foundation bringing brunch to developed countries that clearly need the help. I am in the market for a job… Everyone is very excited about a racecar “drift” competition that is happening in Auckland today. For those of you confused, just think Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift. Yeah, that shit. But since its just down the street and these people can’t even spell “mimosa” we head down to the harbor to see what all the excitement is about. Turns out, there is a reason Paul Walker (RIP) opted out of the Tokyo Drift movie…drifting is basically an excuse to burn rubber and slam into shit. It’s basically race car driving for men with very small penises….or just short attention spans, I suppose. We did get some free ear plugs out of it though. And found a lovely farmers market where we ate every free sample to be found.

We had been warned that Auckland sucks. We quickly realized that is true. With our room still not ready, we went to a bar and got a pitcher. And another. And then maybe one more. I asked to sample a few of the beers before ordering, as I had no idea what beers they have down here. The bartender then made a joke about how I was trying to get free beer. I thought about educating him on his excellent sales tactics, but thought better of it and giggled along. No bitchy resting face here people! Stina then got us dillas while I checked us in. I am typically skeptical of Mexican food in all foreign countries, but it was actually pretty damn good. Or maybe that was the three pitchers talking. Long story short, because I’m sick of typing, we took a 4 hour nap after which we planned to go out and rage. Woke up at 9pm and immediately went back to bed for another 9 hours. We are party animals.

I don’t have any pictures for you today, because really nothing that interesting happened. No, I did not take a picture of the drift competition. You’re welcome. Today is wine tasting day!! And happiness ensues….